NO GRUMBLING ALLOWED! SAINTS BENEDICT AND SCHOLASTICA
by Kristen West McGuire
Fish swim, birds fly…and children grumble.
Whether it’s comparative dessert or chores, most children are uniquely qualified to comment on the relative inequities of family and society. Mothers shake their heads and sigh, trying to judge fairly and yet keep chaos at bay. The needs of the monastery (and domestic church) dictate a certain level of personal sacrifice, no matter how many monks and nuns reside within.
I use this tendency to my advantage with my two youngest, ages two and three. When one notes that the other has my attention, he’ll do anything to re-direct it back to himself. Thus, they unwittingly play into my hands, ending up on an even schedule of meals, baths, stories and naps.
I’m sure Benedict and Scholastica’s mother was less cunning, and more gentle. The Rule of St. Benedict contains much that would be considered feminine wisdom in most households, including reminders to the abbot and those in authority not to lead in such a way that causes grumbling. Benedict’s wisdom was as hard-won as any mother’s could be. One set of monks tried to poison him!
Consider the following excerpts from the Rule of St. Benedict:
“Similarly, [the abbot] should so regulate and arrange all matters that souls may be saved and the brothers may go about their activities without justifiable grumbling.” (Ch. 41)
and
“Let him strive to be loved rather than feared…therefore drawing on examples of discretion, the mother of virtues, he must so arrange everything so that the strong have something to yearn for, and the weak have nothing to run from.” (Ch. 64)
In fact, Benedict mentions the “evil of grumbling” frequently within his short rule, and he exhorts the brothers to put up with, “a little strictness,” in order to “safeguard love.” Most men of my acquaintance would scoff at such concerns. Strictness is a means to test and harden the body as it assaults the elements and duties of life, or so my Marine husband tells me. But that kind of masculine strictness can also bind love in chains.
The little we know of St. Scholastica (see historical sketch, on October 28) indicates the generosity and piety of her family. She was consecrated to the Lord from a young age. (If I were to give the Lord any of my progeny, the boys would be my first choices. My girls are helpful to me!)
Benedict was sent to school in Rome, where the parade of immorality shocked him into a hermitage. Once he was established in a monastery at Monte Cassino, Scholastica followed him to live in a little hermitage nearby, perhaps with a few other women.
The one consolation Benedict allowed himself as abbot was his yearly conference with Scholastica. Sisters are wise and loyal counselors.
As we go through life, our siblings know us perhaps better than anyone, and they also are privy to our deepest longings. When Scholastica insisted that Benedict stay to discuss the joys of heaven with her, he nearly rebuffed the gift of God…by grumbling about the weather she asked from the Lord!
We are so used to grumbling to our siblings, that it is almost natural. And yet, is it natural? Or just a habit? Is it possible that both Benedict and Scholastica were surprised to be at odds again, even with the maturity of their faith? Of course!
I’m sure he completely repented when her death made the gift clear in hindsight, and reminded him in no uncertain terms that the love of the family trumps even man-made Rules. Sometimes, when our grumbling partners remind us of important truths, we remember them well.
May we be open to the love of God in our families, and especially, in our siblings!
